Everybody has something they are afraid of. The dark, public speaking, heights, spiders, death, the list goes on. I am no stranger to this fear. About 4-5 years ago I developed severe anxiety and panic attacks. This anxiety was so crippling that I cancelled a trip with my best friend the night before we were to leave, almost quit my job because I couldn’t leave home for 2 days to go to training, and thought I’d be a hermit for the rest of my life just to avoid the feeling of panic.
This is what I think most people do. Most people avoid the thing they fear to avoid feelings of anxiety. Avoiding presentations because the fear of public speaking is too much to bear, or any other form of inhibiting your life in one way or another. This is what I almost did.
When it came time to apply for Universities in high school, I knew exactly where I wanted to go: University of Ottawa. I knew it would be the perfect place for me. But I questioned myself…what if the anxiety is too much to bear? What if the panic attacks take over and I breakdown and have to move back home? What would be the point of living a life where I feared everything I did? I contemplated the local University just as an easy option. I’m sure it’s a lovely school, but Trent…you’re not my type. It’s not you, it’s me. So when I applied to my 4 Universities, I applied to uOttawa, McMaster, Brock, and Concordia – all schools at least 3 hours from where I’m from. I didn’t even apply to Trent because when it came down to accepting offers, I didn’t want to give myself an easy way out and quit. I didn’t even give myself the option. So I got in, accepted, and got really excited, and scared as hell. I had anxiety right up until I moved, and most of my first year. But I didn’t let it stop me…why would I let my own mind defeat me?
I bought a book shortly after I realized what was happening to me all those years ago. And the most important lesson that taught me, is that when anxiety happens or I start to panic, just ask myself this one question: What is the worst possible thing that could happen? Whenever I thought of this, it was really never that bad. So then I imagine the worst case scenario happening, and I’d feel calmer. Even to this day, I have to use that technique.
There’s a lot more to this story, but I want to get to the point of this post: redirecting fear. Instead of letting my fear beat me, I beat it. It’s true that my disorder will never actually go away…but I know how to manage it, instead of it managing me. So why do we let fear control us?
I started my own business in July, and I’ve had a similar reaction from a lot of my peers: “Wow, that’s so amazing. I wish I could do that.” Well, why can’t you? I have done a lot of things this year that have pushed me to the limit, but all of it has made me that much stronger – and happier.
So this is my task for you: do one thing a day that scares you. Push yourself to the limit. If it scares the crap out of you, try it! What’s the worst that could happen?
Hello.
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